New Thing #34 - Mardi Gras Dude!

Today I went downtown to participate in the Mardi Gras parade. This is actually the first year I've ever even made it to Mardi Gras. For one reason or another, I've always had something going on or really had no desire to go. I've honestly thought about going before, but the idea of dealing with a drunken crowd had never appealed to me. Not to mention it's usually ridiculously cold. And after riding on a float this year, I will probably never want to go and just stand in the crowd. I had way too much fun riding on the float.

BEADS!!!!

I'm not really sure the logistics of having a float in the parade or any of that stuff, but fortunately I know someone who knows someone. I've got people. Betsy told me about the idea months ago, and I was totally up for it. Her friend, Aaron, who's been in my blog, is in charge of a float. We were able to sign up to be on the float for a fee, and that included beads and beer. For a cheaper fee, we could have signed up to walk with the float and pass out beads, but I preferred to ride. And Betsy has walked before. She preferred to ride this year as well. Unfortunately, she came down with the flu two days ago, so she didn't feel up to partying. I missed her today, as did her other friends. She was with us in spirit though. :)

A few weeks ago the float was built, but since I was still recovering from my own bout of flu, I wasn't able to help. I did know the theme though. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Hence the most excellent title dudes. :) Each of us were required to wear a costume based on one of the characters of the movie. Some people adhered to that requirement, others did not. I opted to go as Socrates, since I figured a simple sheet would do the trick. My mistake was in not putting it on before I left the house. Trying to fashion a toga in 40mph winds is a bit difficult.

Even though Betsy was sick, her aunt still offered to take us downtown. Since Aaron was in charge, we had to be down to the staging area pretty early. Like 8am early. On a Saturday. In February. It was also snowing when I left the house. Fortunately, it was just flurries that stopped after an hour or so. I knew it was going to be cold, so I was hoping the 35 layers I had on would help keep me from freezing my nuggets off. I started off with some tights, topped with some weird thigh high sweater sock things (I found them at Target. I'm not sure who would normally wear them, but they served the purpose I needed. Seriously, they're kinda weird.), fleece pajama pants and jeans. My top half started with a moisture-wicking shirt, courtesy of Betsy, a long-sleeve t-shirt, a hooded zip up sweatshirt, a vest, a fleece jacket and a rain/wind jacket. Even though I felt like the abominable snowman, I didn't look too puffy. I was more concerned with staying warm than looking goofy. Some wool socks and my lined boots completed the ensemble. Betsy picked up some toe and hand warmers which came in really handy. Everything was finished off with the sheet that one of the other riders help me attach. Not the most clever of costumes, but when it's cold, staying in character is the least of your concerns.


So-crates!! That damn stocking hat kept coming off, so I took it off and went with a knit head band instead.

Once Aaron and I got to the staging area, there were only a couple of other people there. There were a few last minute details to take care of on the float before the parade started. I hadn't seen the float yet, and it definitely wasn't what I was expecting. The last time I rode on a float was high school and it was made of toilet paper and chicken wire. And it was being pulled by either a truck or a tractor. This float was on the bed of an 18-wheeler and was pulled by a semi truck. Hard core. The sides were plywood and there was a port-a-potty on board. That port-a-potty was the greatest thing. Ever. Whoever made the port-a-potty a requirement for floats was a genius.



Wyld Stallyns!!


The port-a-potty was disguised inside the wooden structure in the middle.


The infamous phone booth with the keg tub in front of it.

As the morning went on more and more people started showing up to our float. And more and more floats started showing up in the staging area. Some of the floats were crudely done, but some looked like they had been worked on for months. Some of these people take the parade very seriously. Others do it for the alcohol. Guess which one I am. As more people showed up, the float became more and more crowded. But that didn't help with the cold. At all. 40mph winds and below-freezing temps are not a good combination for staying warm. My hand warmers only worked if I pulled my fingers inside my gloves and wrapped them around the warmers. I couldn't even tell I had foot warmers in my boots. For the most part though, I wasn't all that cold. I think the incredible numbers of layers I had on really helped. If I could have kept my feet, hands and face warm, I would have been fine. But when you're standing still with no where to go, you can't really think of anything else but the cold. So, what do you do on Mardi Gras to stay warm while you're waiting for the parade to begin? You drink, of course. The kegs were tapped around 9am, and it was flowing pretty freely for the rest of the morning. I started out slow. I didn't really want to be incapacitated before the parade even started. Some people brought food including muffins and Gus's pretzels. If you live in St. Louis, you know about the famous Gus's pretzels. I took a few loaves of apple bread, but genius that I am, I didn't think about slicing it before I got there. I don't think anyone ate any of it because it was too difficult to get to. And I'm pretty sure it ended up staying with the float after the parade was over. Maybe some squirrels had a pleasant discovery this afternoon.


Here's a shot of the staging area and people waiting to ride on their floats.

Finally, after waiting for what seemed like forever, it was time for the parade to begin. I figured this out the hard way by being in the port-a-potty when the truck started driving. And since we were still in the staging area at the time, there were a lot of starts and stops. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to go to the bathroom in a port-a-potty strapped to a moving vehicle? And not pee all over yourself? I was trying to keep my sheet from landing in a puddle. I decided that if the sheet landed in something in the port-a-potty, it stayed in the port-a-potty. After I successfully made it out of the bathroom, I headed to my spot on the side of the float. I grabbed a few sacks of beads and got my throwing arm ready.

Since I had never been to Mardi Gras before, I didn't realize that there would be one side of the street where the majority of the people were. The side of the street I was facing was fairly dead. Shortly after the parade started, most of the people on my side of the float headed to the other side. I guess they wanted to throw beads to more people. I felt bad for my side of the street though. They deserved beads too! I had a pretty good strategy going on how to throw the beads. The wind up was key. ;-) I was able to get them past the people in the front row to the rows behind. Since we had wheel walkers passing out beads to the people in the front, I wanted to make sure the rest of the people had access to beads. And it's not my fault if they chose to stand near a tree. I landed a dozen or so beads in the trees. But, some people were so excited, they started to climb the trees for them. I'm not sure why they didn't just bend down and pick up the hundreds that littered the streets. Stupid drunk people. I also nailed three cops with beads. One in the face. Absolutely not intentional. My aim was good, but there's alway the renegade bead that can get away from you. Or one that is attached to another set that can go a bit wonky when you hurl it off the float. Fortunately, none of them saw it was me. Hey, they should have been paying better attention! Another good thing about throwing beads on the float? It really warmed me up!

Here's the view of the crowd from the side of the float I wasn't on. People are everywhere!

Parade route.

More peeps.

Some people thought it would be fun to throw the beads back at the floats. This was not cool. Especially since I nearly got nailed a half dozen times with grimy street beads. I lost count of the number of beads I threw out though. I probably went through more than 2 boxes of beads just by myself. And we had quite a few left by the end of the parade. They'll go into storage for next year. The actual parade lasted a lot shorter than I had anticipated. It was fun, and I wanted to keep throwing beads. But, once we hit the end of the route, we weren't allowed to throw any more beads or we'd get fined. I'm not sure how much the fine would be, but I didn't want to be the cause of it. Once the parade was over, I realized I hadn't seen one pair of boobs either. Not that I actually wanted to see any, but it was Mardi Gras after all. Bare breasts are usually about as common as the beads being thrown. I guess the cold weather was a deterrent. I was told by some of the other float riders that there were a few brave souls on the other side of the street that bared all to earn their beads. Ah well, I suppose I will survive without getting the full Mardi Gras experience.

Boobie Alert!! Aaron got this picture, I never saw her. Look closely on the left if you really want to see it. lol

After the parade was over, we headed back to the staging area. Because of all the people and all the street closings, we had to go the long way around. Which took us longer to get back that I thought it would. There's nothing like a bunch of drunks riding on a float painted like a giant phone booth driving through downtown St. Louis waving like idiots at all the people in their cars. It's amazing that no one threw any beads out, but fortunately we had a good group of people that obeyed the rules. When we got back to the staging area, everyone parted ways and headed out to continue the party. I was in Aaron's care at that point, so we headed with a few of his friends to a house party in Soulard.

Well, we attempted to go to a house party. Aaron's friend Janice was the only person who knew where this party was, and she had completely passed out standing up on the float. Yep, she was that drunk. She had gotten trashed on the hand grenades that are pretty much straight Everclear. Her friends assured us that walking would help sober her up, so we headed from downtown to Soulard. After only about 3 or 4 blocks, they couldn't get her to walk herself anymore, so one of her sober friends offered to go back and get a car and take her to a hotel. I walked back to the car with her and then we headed to pick Janice up. At that point, Aaron and his friends Kyle, Patrick, Jim and Carl and I decided to head to Al Hrabosky's (a popular bar next to the Stadium). But, once we walked back the same direction we started from, we got a phone call saying that Janice had woken up from her drunken stupor and was ready to head to Soulard. Apparently her second wind hit at that point.


We stopped next to the Captain Morgan statue for a photo op.

So, now I had walked the same 4 blocks about 4 times, and now we were all headed back towards Soulard. Again. We eventually made it to the first house party, where we stayed for about 5 minutes before we headed to the second house party. Basically it was just a bathroom pit stop. There was food and free beer at the second party, so we ended up staying there for the rest of the evening. Around 8pm, I was ready to go, so Aaron and I met up with Betsy who came to pick us up.


Me & Aaron, looking at two different cameras. We're rock stars.


Me & Napoleon (aka Patrick)


Me & Billy the Kid (aka Kyle)


Mardi Gras 2009! Woooooo!!!!

All-in-all, I had a fun day. I wish Betsy had felt up to coming because I know she would have had a good time, but when the flu comes a-knockin', there's not much you can do about it. I'd definitely ride on the float again, so this time next year, I'll be layering up for Mardi Gras 2010!