New Thing #8 - Top of the Vu

New Thing #8 changed last minute from my original idea of ice grass sledding. It would have been a lot of fun, but scheduling conflicts and the location made it impossible to be able to go. I had plans in Columbia scheduled with my friend Audrey for tonight, so we decided to use that instead. :)

I've known Audrey since Kindergarten, and in all that time we've never actually gone out together. I don't mean on a date, but as in to a bar or seen the other drink more than a beer or two. I've also never been "out" in Columbia either. Never had a reason or opportunity to before. It was bound to be entertaining. I went with her, her husband Shane, and their friend Chuck. We started the evening at McKenzie's, a local restaurant 1 minute 13 seconds away from their house. I've been to this place before and it is really good. This time, however, I tried calamari fries (squid) for the first time. Delicious. I'm not sure what they fried them in, but they were mighty tasty. And so was the peanut butter-looking dipping sauce that went with them. (No, it wasn't really peanut butter, but it sure looked like it.) We had a new waiter, still wet behind the ears, who didn't look a day over 12. It was only his second day, and although he apologized about 468 times for no reason in particular, he was pretty good.

Next, we had some time to kill before the comedian, so we stopped at one of Audrey's favorite places to grab a few drinks, Cherry Street Artisan. There were exactly 4 other people in the entire place when we got there. And, because of the lack of people, we somehow hatched a plan to steal the large bronze tiger guarding the fireplace. I'm not sure how it came up, but I think Shane thought it might look nice next to their fireplace. Shane and Chuck were tasked to smuggle it out while Audrey and I created a diversion in the corner. I'm not sure what diversion it was to be, but I think cat fight was mentioned more than once. lol Chuck decided to see how heavy it actually was, and after lifting it, decided he didn't need Shane's help after all. Shane took one for the team, and said he'd help out with the "diversion". Unfortunately, more people showed up for a trivia night, so we decided to forgo grand theft, and left him peacefully in his spot....until next time. ;-) (No worries mom and dad, I don't plan on using theft as one of my new things!) Our time at Cherry Street also produced the phrase "I'm Heather Jones, b*tch!" Don't ask. ;-)

Next, we had tickets to see the comedian at Deja Vu. For those of you not familiar with it, it has a comedy club at the top (Top of the Vu) and a dance floor on the main level. This place brought two of my favorite things together: comedy and dancing! What's better than that?! The opening act, Jeff Havens, was, uh, interesting. Some of his bits were funny, but I swear the guy had to be on some kind of drug. He was bouncing around the stage like he had ants in his pants, kept scratching himself and barely stopped talking to breathe. Before he left the stage, he tried to hock his CD, book and T-shirts that said "Am I making you moist?" Like I said, interesting. Next, the headliner Tim Young was absolutely hilarious. I don't really know what else to say, other than to go see him if you get a chance.

Before the show started, I made a quick run to the bathroom and got hit on by a guy three sheets to the wind. I figured out that he said "would it be rude if i told you you smelled good?", but it came out as "wooditberoodifitoadjewyasmelledgud?" Uh, thanks buddy, you made my night! I'm not even sure how he smelled me since I was about 10 feet in front of him at the time and he had to yell the question at me. It made me feel so special.

One thing I did notice about the Vu, was that they had people stationed around the room making sure no one heckled the comedians or got too rowdy. It was awesome. You could enjoy the show without worrying about some drunk ruining the night. I wish they had that at the Funny Bone in St. Louis. I went to see John Heffron (from Last Comic Standing) once and the guy in front of me just kept yelling "balls" at random times thinking he was being funny. John worked it into his routine, but you could still tell he was getting tired of it.

Anyhoo, next we went downstairs to get our groove on. As much as I like to dance, I don't really go to clubs anymore, so it was nice to cut a rug. :) And again, one of my new favorite pasttimes has been people watching. I do it all the time now, and really pay more attention to the people around me. I've realized that some people have no shame. At all. A lot of college kids were back in town, so the place was busy, but not packed where you couldn't move. Lots of people wearing things they should never wear in public. Ever. (No spandex shorts tonight though.) And pulling out dance moves that should never leave their houses. Ever. I believe one girl was living out her ballerina fantasies by twirling in slow-mo and doing some kind of pirouette out on the dance floor. By herself. Five seconds later she was all up in some guy's bizness shaking her money maker. At least she seemed to be enjoying herself. The jury's still out on whether or not the guy was.

I also fell. Hard. On the dance floor. Right on my ass. And no, it wasn't because of the liquor or coordination. Just a slippery spot on the floor. I was back up on my feet in no time - thanks to a few nice gentlemen, who were trying very hard not to laugh - and back up dancing. Because I'm a pro like that. :)

Eventually, we decided to call it a night and hail a cab home. We were told it could take up to an hour, but we sweet talked some other drivers to call one of their coworkers. Two minutes later, we had Mik-EEE (that's how we said it), the craziest cab driver ever. He cranked up the rap so much that our ear drums were throbbing, and then decided that he was immune to yellow lights. I'm not even sure how we made it home safely. But we did. And then the next morning, we all realized, we're not spring chickens anymore, and IHOP doesn't cure hangovers as quickly as it used to!

Thanks to Audrey, Shane & Chuck for a fun night out in Columbia. Stupid us didn't take any pictures out, but here are a few pics we took at the house.


Heat & Aud



Audrey & Shane