New Thing #27 - New Things...for a Price

For my new thing this week, I met with a company that organizes events around St. Louis for singles. My friend Betsy found this place online that puts together different outings so people can meet each other in a non-stressful environment. These include kickboxing classes, Blues or Cardinals games, movies, dance classes, book clubs, rock climbing, and the list goes on, many of which I could not only use as a new thing, but also meet new people. Sounds perfect for me, doesn't it? Oh, just wait.

So, the website doesn't offer a whole lot of information other than a vague list of events and a small amount of information about them. I was a bit hesitant at first, but I figured, why not. It sounds really cool. I called and spoke with a rep and found out that in order to get the info I wanted, I had to make a consultation appointment with the St. Louis branch. They don't give pricing over the phone. I didn't really expect them to, but I was hoping I could get the price and decide if I wanted to go further or not. No such luck.

So, the appointment was made for tonight at 6pm. The lady on the phone said the consultation takes about an hour. Their office is located within a medical building in Brentwood (a suburb of St. Louis). The directions say to park in a parking lot down the street just past the second speed limit sign. Uh, yeah, what the directions didn't say is how far past the building that parking lot was. If I had known, I probably wouldn't have opted on wearing a skirt and boots on a day where we had 20mph winds. Good times. So, I parked in this deserted lot behind the back of a Bed Bath and Beyond and started the trek up the hill. I don't usually walk at night by myself in areas I'm not familiar with, so I was not happy about the distance from my car to the building. Not to mention the fact that I was still dressed up from work.

Anyways, I safely made it to the building with most of my skin numb and found the suite I was looking for a few minutes ahead of schedule. However, it wasn't what I was expecting at all. When I walked in, the entry room was very sparse - two couches, a coffee table with a few old magazines, a receptionist desk with a few Christmas decorations and a logo on the wall. A radio in the corner was blaring music and there were 5 doors, four of which were closed. That's it. I waited at the receptionist desk for a few minutes, looking for a bell of some sort. No such luck, it didn't have anything on it. I figured no one heard the bell on the door chime when I walked in, since the music was so loud, so I just sat down and started flipping through a September issue of People.

I assumed that since the consultations are an hour long, whoever was in the rooms would be wrapping up shortly. Despite the music, I could hear people talking behind the doors. So, I didn't think I would need to announce my arrival. I got engrossed in an article, and I didn't notice that nearly 20 minutes went by without a single person coming out. Finally, at 6:20, a woman came bustling out of one of the rooms, noticed me sitting there, asked if I was the 6:00 appointment and then apologized profusely for being late. She gave me a form to fill out and said she would only be a few more minutes. No big deal, right? Wrong.

I filled out the form which included the basics - name, age, address, how did you hear about the company, etc, but it also included salary information and questions like how much money I spend on social activities a week. I'm not comfortable giving out my salary to anyone, let alone a social networking service, so I left that info blank. It took me all of 3.2 minutes to fill out the form, so I waited some more, thinking the lady would be right back out. Nope. Another door opened and another woman came out asking if I was Heather, the 6:00. Uh, yeah, do you see anyone else sitting here at 6:25? No, you don't. So, again, I replied yes, and she apologized that things were crazy today. Apparently. She started running back and forth between three different rooms trying to print something and answer the phone at the same time. In the meantime, a guy walked in needing to talk to the lady running around. So, she apologized to me and helped him out. He's a member and he needed a ticket for an event. I went back to reading about the 10 most powerful people in St. Louis. While I was reading, the guy started talking and I thought he was talking to the woman, but she was in the other room. I looked up and he's just talking...to no one in particular. Then he looked at me and kept on rambling on about his job at Massage Envy and how he's going to a six-hour yoga event on New Year's Eve. Great. But, he informed me he won't actually be doing 6 hours straight of yoga. Good to know. I'm not really sure if he's talking to me or just one of those people that can't stop talking, so I tried to be polite and make small talk, but the entire time, I kept purposely looking at my magazine like I'm trying to read it. He didn't get the hint, but eventually the woman gave him what he wanted and he left. Finally.

Once the guy left, the lady told me it'll be one more minute and asked if I'd like to go ahead and go into her office. I say sure, glad that we can finally start. It's 6:35, 35 minutes past my scheduled time. I went into her office and she told me she was going to put her cell phone outside so she wouldn't have any distractions. But, in doing that, she saw she had a missed call from the hospital. She said she'd like to make one quick call to the hospital and explained that her mom is in the hospital with heart failure, so she wanted to check in. Of course, I tell her to go ahead. I may be frustrated at the situation, but I'm not heartless.

So, I waited a few more minutes and the first lady I saw leaves her office with a client and invited me in to see her. My lady had shut herself into another office to be on the phone, so I didn't think it was good news. Finally my interview/consultation was about to begin, 50 minutes late. I'm not sure why I stayed that long, I guess it was because I was eager to find out what this company was all about. This office was just as bare as the reception room. A desk, two chairs and a trash can. Nothing else, except for a few framed pictures on the wall that matched the ones in the front room. All she had on her desk was a phone, a monitor and a pen basket. My guard was up, because it reminded me of some place that could easily be packed up in a hurry.

Kathleen introduced herself and started telling me about the company. They started in Seattle in 1987 and have opened 13 other locations since then. They've only been in St. Louis for three months. I guess that could account for the bare decorating, but still, it seemed weird. I mean, not even a single file cabinet? They have 250+ members in StL so far, most of which range from 35-45. According to her, there were singles 25-35, but for all I know, there could have only been 10 other ones. She explained the process and how once I would sign up, I would get a username/password, and I could view and sign up for all the events online. There is a calendar showing each event, and by clicking on the event, all the information is available, including time, location, additional pricing and other info. Most of the events are free, but there is a percentage that have an additional fee. A kickboxing class is free, but a Blues game requires the cost of a ticket. So far, everything she was saying intrigued me. I loved some of the events and even figured I could use some of them as new things. I wasn't super psyched about the older crowd that they had, but figured over time, younger people would sign up.

This entire time Kathleen took over the conversation with all the information, barely letting me get a word in edgewise. She then asked me why I was interested in this experience and wanted to know what I was looking for. I started to tell her about how difficult it is to meet people at places other than bars, but she cut me off at about 20 seconds into my explanation. She went off on some tangent about her sister trying online dating and how it went horribly wrong, as well as examples of some of the guys she dated. Uh, honey, I. Don't Care. How in the hell is this relevant at all to what your company does for me or in why I'm here?

I told her when I walked in that I had to leave by 7:30, so she said she'd hurry as much as possible. At around 7:25 she said they usually do the pre-screening which included a background check followed by the payment options. Well, I was beginning to think this was too good to be true, so I definitely wanted to find out the cost of this thing before I wasted any more time. I knew there would probably be a membership fee and I had gone into the meeting knowing what I could and couldn't afford. So, she whipped out her pricing sheet and time stood still. The first thing my eyes saw was $1695 and I think I blacked out. SEVENTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS?! Are you f'ing kidding me?! I didn't hear the next things she told me because I was still in shock. For all I know, she could have said that I'd have to give up my first-born child and a vial of blood every month in order to join as well.

Once I calmed down, I looked at what that $1695 entails. It included a one-year membership fee, 3 "hold" months and one free guest pass. The hold months were in case you couldn't make it to any events one month. They let you freeze your membership for a month and tack it onto the end of your membership timeframe. You could do that a total of three times. A two-year contract was $1895 and 3-year deal was $2495. Oh, and did I mention that on top of whatever membership you chose, there are also $30 dues EVERY month?! According to Kathleen, this is to offset any costs the company would endure if they canceled an event or something. WTF. So, not only would I have to pay $1695 to join, but I'd have to pay an additional $360 in dues. I almost started laughing at her when she's explaining all of this. She must have seen the disbelief in my eyes because she said that they offer a down-payment plan and then the rest of the fees are spread out on a monthly basis. I told her flat out that this was more than I had anticipated, and her inner saleswoman kicked in. She said that in December, they were running a special of $100 off, but she might be able to get it down another $45. She'd have to "make a call." Suuuuure she would. Then, she threw out some figures showing what I would pay per month if I put down $250 now. It'd only be around $108 per month! Woo-hoo, what a steal! I then said, well, that plus the $30 in dues. She then said, "well, no, that's a separate fee." Um, well, moron, it's still $30 I would be paying you, so to me, that's included! She then tried to justify all this money by saying that if people cut out their daily Starbucks or their daily trip to the vending machine, they could save the money for this. I then explained to her that I don't spend my money frivously like that.

Needless to say, I will not be joining any time soon. I understand they have to pay their employees and pay for the events, but good gravy, $2000+ per year is absolutely ridiculous. Since I was still in shock over the pricing, I forget the question I meant to ask. What happens if you meet someone and start dating. Kathleen was very adamant about the fact that all the members are single, so that would suck to pay all this money and two months into it, meet the person of your dreams. I was pretty disappointed since I thought this would be a great experience, but I have much better use for that money!